I love to sleep. The end.
Just kidding.
I’ve always been a good sleeper and enjoyed sleeping. Especially napping. In fact, my room growing up was in the back of the house where the sun SET and the only room with blackout curtains because… #sleep.
But having a baby changes a lot of things, especially sleep. And for a good reason – baby!
I knew having a baby would transform my life in the most challenging and beautiful ways. There was no doubt adding a roommate to our home would be a big change. The household dynamic shifts the minute you get home.
As a sleep enthusiast, I knew I had to make sleep a priority for my family when we had our first child. Especially knowing I would continue my full-time career once my maternity leave ended at 12 weeks.
Here are my top reasons for making sleep a priority for my family, and why I recommend you make it a priority for yours.
- Marriage
- Personal Freedom
- Health Benefits
- Career
- Parenting is HARD
MARRIAGE
I prioritize sleep so I can preserve a healthy, lasting marriage.
Finding a new groove as a first-time parent is difficult. As one month, two months went by – I watched how hard it was to spend quality one-on-one time with my husband. Our daughter was colicky, especially in the evening. My time with my husband during weekdays was limited to the evenings because he was back at work full time.
Some nights we felt like ships passing. We rocked our daughter to sleep every night. And it was getting increasingly harder to put her down without her waking immediately. In order to be together, one person would rock the baby while the other just sat on the floor for support. It felt a little less lonely. But the rocking was taking longer and longer every night. We eventually had to eat in shifts so we could step in for each other rocking our daughter to sleep. Some nights took hours. And when she finally went to sleep for the night, I was ready to go to bed myself.
I knew I wasn’t doing our daughter any favors in my quest to create a healthy sleep foundation for her. I also knew this wouldn’t be sustainable for my marriage or our collective sanity if we continued to spend hours every night rocking our daughter to sleep. I missed eating dinner with my husband, watching a show together, having meaningful conversations and even having true alone time to myself!
So pretty early on, I knew sleep had to be a priority for my marriage.
PERSONAL FREEDOM
I prioritize sleep so I can take back my nights and nap time.
I missed having personal freedom. While I was on maternity leave with my colicky daughter, I missed having personal space! It was deceiving to be home and off from work… but feel like I was housebound with a newborn. I was used to running errands and cleaning and even throwing in a nap when I wanted to. But instead, I had postpartum anxiety from the colic, it was winter, and I was generally afraid to really go anywhere with my fussy newborn.
When our daughter was 12 weeks, we had to leave her for the night to attend a friend’s wedding. A guest asked me if it was hard to be away from my daughter. I said “NO!” She responded that I was a breath of fresh air and it was nice to see a new parent enjoying THEIR life outside of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, of course I missed my daughter. But I knew I would see her in a few hours and that she was in very good, capable hands.
And honestly, it felt SO good to have a break. To be around our friends, to be dressed up dancing and to be out of the house! Knowing it was temporary separation made it easy to enjoy myself and take advantage of this freedom.
That night confirmed another reason I would make sleep a priority for my family. A predictable sleep schedule would allow me to enjoy personal freedoms during naps and in the evenings. Similarly, I could enjoy being out on a date night or attending an event because I knew I had given my daughter a healthy sleep foundation and no one was home rocking her to sleep for hours in my absence.
I think more importantly, it allowed my husband and I to spend our evenings together. We cook dinner and eat together. We can have a conversation uninterrupted. We can watch a show, read, workout, whatever. That personal time is available for US while our daughter happily logs 12 hours upstairs.
HEALTH BENEFITS
I prioritize sleep because it’s a necessity, NOT a luxury.
One of the most important gifts you can give your child (and yourself) is SLEEP. All babies want to sleep. Some are naturals at it while others need a little direction. But sleep is a learned skill. Babies need guidance in order to learn how to sleep independently. They need your support, your patience, and your leadership.
The health benefits that come from, and during, restorative sleep are immense. Restorative sleep promotes healthy physical and mental growth. It stimulates learning, supports a healthy weight and boosts immunity. Sleep also improves mood!
I knew developing a healthy sleep foundation early on contributed to my daughter’s good health the first year of her life. Learning to sleep independently not only helped her get adequate sleep at home, but also benefited her at daycare and during times of travel.
For my daughter, husband, and myself, I knew making sleep a priority for health reasons would benefit us all. Sleep is NOT a luxury. Sleep is a necessity. For EVERYONE.
WORKING PARENT
I prioritize sleep so I can perform at work and at home.
As a household with two full-time working parents, I knew my husband and I needed to make sleep a priority for ourselves in order to perform in the office and at home. Working full-time in a career, running a household and parenting can all be full-time jobs on their own. Then you factor in time to work out, plan weekend activities or outings, work on a side hustle or find time to just relax. Without adequate, quality sleep every night – there was no way I could keep up with those everyday demands.
It’s also important to prioritize your schedule early on. I learned to plan what days and times I would do laundry, workout, or clean certain parts of the house. I meal planned and ordered my groceries online so I could stay within a budget. Knowing what I was making every night took a lot of pressure off my weeknights. Instead, I could spend my limited time after work completely immersed in being with my daughter.
Learning to say “no” to things is equally important to preventing burnout. My husband and I had EIGHT weddings the year my daughter was born, starting when she was 12 weeks. I was a bridesmaid in TWO of them. That’s important to note because in addition to each of my friend’s weddings I was asked to be in, I also knew I could factor in two weekends away for bachelorette parties and two weekend days away for the bridal showers. If I hadn’t prioritized sleep and my schedule early on, I would have crashed and burned long before the holidays.
But I did burn out by years’ end. I couldn’t help our schedule was crazy the year we had a baby. But I did make a promise to myself to learn to only say “yes” to the events and priorities that served me the following year.
Making sleep a priority for my family gave me peace of mind that my daughter would sleep soundly for any family member putting her to bed on nights we were away. Making sleep a priority for my family ensured my husband and I could get through the busiest season of our lives.
PARENTING IS HARD
I prioritize sleep so I could be the best parent and version of myself for my family.
The days are long, but the years are short. No truer words have been spoken. Some days parenting is just THAT hard. Especially chasing after a toddler. Knowing I’d have 2 hours at naptime and my evenings free is what kept me moving forward. Some days it felt like I was passing the baton between my morning coffee and a glass of wine after bedtime. I just needed to make it to the finish line. You NEED sleep to make it through those long days.
I still go to bed by 10pm on weekends because I know I have a full weekend with my toddler ahead of me. There is no such thing as sleeping in until 10am to make up for a late night. 😊
For tips on how to get an extra hour a day, check out my blog post here.
Or, if you need help prioritizing sleep for your family and getting your child on a sleep schedule so you can start adding an extra hour to your day – check out our services page to schedule a FREE 15-minute consultation!
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